Lies Chelsea Handler Told Me

Emily Kilroy

 

My name is Emily.  I was 10 years old when I met Chelsea.  I may be the youngest person Chelsea has lied to.  My father says that's wishful thinking.  I met Chelsea on the set of Chelsea Lately.  My father, a chiropractor, used to go to the set once a week after the show to work on Chelsea and other members of the show.  He would set up his table on an empty set where there was a green screen and a lot of the cool TV equipment we don't see when we watch a show at home.

 

The small gathering of  people there to see my dad parted when Chelsea showed up to get treated.  Just like a TV star, she stood out, tall and beautiful.  I stood out too as the only 10 year old in the room.  Before my dad could even introduce me, Chelsea came to me and asked me my name.  "Hi Emily. I'm Chelsea.  Did you get to watch the show?" she asked.  "No", I responding, concerned that I would offend her, but also thinking I may have missed something truly special.  "Thank God", she said and everyone laughed, though I didn't know why.

            "How old are you? What grade are you in? What do you like to do?"  I could barely control the excitement that she was taking all this time to talk to me.  Then she asked "Do you like school?" she asked.  "Oh Yes!" I answered the greatest enthusiasm.  "It's a waste of your time Emily."  I did not know what to say.  She went on.  "Listen, high school was the biggest waste of my time.  I learned all I needed to know before I ever got there.  I didn't to college.  Why?  Because, I finally had a choice.  Really it's a waste of time Emily.         Trust me."

 

            My mom and dad are both doctors and they remind me constantly that, if I want to reach my goals in life, I need to work hard in school and get a good education.  So I ask myself would they lie to me?  Then again dad also told me that Chelsea makes more money than he and mom put together.  Maybe, just maybe, Chelsea was telling me the truth.  Would she do that to a kid?