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new funny blog post

Started Jan 24, 2011 0 Replies 0 Likes

http://btchygirls.blogspot.com/

If you love Chelsea...

Started this discussion. Last reply by coach outlet store online Apr 9. 1 Reply 0 Likes

Hey,Just wanted to put our new blog out there for anyone who LOVES Chelsea as much as we do! We're pretty sure you'll find the same things funny as we do, so check our blog outat …Continue

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Botox Bonanza

Posted on April 9, 2011 at 9:23pm 0 Comments 0 Likes

We've made it pretty f*cking clear that we're vain! That's not really an uncommon trait in women these days, especially in those of us over 39 searching for the fountain of youth. Sure, we may feel 25 on the inside, but trust us, every line, wrinkle, stretch mark, and extra centimeter of skin is cause for extreme panic. Can we have everything we need to be totally cool and confident? F*ck no!!! We never seem to be happy with ourselves physically, no matter how beautiful we may be. Whose…

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Hot in Heels

Posted on April 9, 2011 at 9:21pm 0 Comments 0 Likes

Thanks to Jessica Simpson, I bought the most kick *sspair of shoes the other day. Absolutely gorgeous, sky high, stripper heels, and I have no f*cking clue where I'm going to wear them. I've spent a good amount of time prancing around my house in them, striking different poses and stopping to check myself out in the mirror in various outfits. D*mn, they look…

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Virgin No More

Posted on April 9, 2011 at 9:18pm 0 Comments 0 Likes

BIT= B*tches in Training. Learn it!

I was a virgin until last night. Yes, I'm 39+ & have two kids. They were actually with me, as was the rest of my family, including my parents & cousins who were visiting from New Jersey. No one could ever call me prude, and the 10 minutes of fun that I had was well worth it. But I was left feeling distracted, bemused, hyped, and full of questions that would most likely never be… Continue

Watch Your Back Bitch!

Posted on April 9, 2011 at 9:15pm 0 Comments 0 Likes

Dear Dance Teacher from H*ll,

When my four year old daughter skipped into class 10 minutes late yesterday, you looked at her as if she were your best friend and you just found out she f*ckedyour prom date.

Newsflash you unhappy b*tch, she's four...she can't tell time, nor can she drive. It's not her f*cking fault that I can never seem to get out of the house on time. Next time you've got a problem, grow a… Continue

Are You Wearing a Thong?

Posted on April 9, 2011 at 9:13pm 0 Comments 0 Likes

Here's a small glimpse of my day, the last 10 minutes to be exact. I swear, every fcking word is true, I couldn't make this sht up if I tried.

lil bit: Mommyyyyyyyy I have to go peeeeee peeeeeee.

Me: Okay, then go.…

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BDF Bachelor Drama-Finale or Brad's a Dumb F*ck

Posted on March 16, 2011 at 1:59pm 0 Comments 0 Likes

THE most DRAMATIC finale in the history of The Bachelor! Ahem, I told you b*tches so.

So if you read my other blog about The Bachelor, I predicted AND pegged the outcome! I win! I'm pretty freakin' proud of myself because I am always wrong when guessing, especially if money is involved. Crap, I should have bet some of you b*tches and made a couple easy bucks cuz the hillbilly DID propose to the other hillbilly (IMILY) after all! Although, one of my… Continue

39 Forever

Posted on March 16, 2011 at 1:58pm 0 Comments 1 Like

Hi Jor,

Every d*mn time I sit down to write I think of you. I think of how much fun you'd be having with this whole b*tchy girl thing. I mean, besides me, who else has ever been b*tchier?

I take that back, you… Continue

Red Wine & Douches

Posted on March 16, 2011 at 1:50pm 0 Comments 0 Likes

My life should be a f*cking sitcom. Seriously, if I didn't have a kick *ss sense of humor, I don't know how I'd make it through the day.

It started out the usual way, getting daughter #1 (BIT) off to school. After that, all hell broke loose. BIT unintentionally brought one of my gym shoes to school with her. F*ck, there went my workout for the day, and along with it, my sanity. Ten deep breaths, it's time to take the smelly *ss dog to the groomer.… Continue